The Games Not Straight (Cheltenham Review 2019)

The headline may seem a bit extreme but us punters blame everything and anything when we lose on the horses, from the trainer being a fiddling shit to the jockey being as bent as a ten bob piece, even if the dog gets in the way of the television and my horse falls it’s the dogs fault. 

I saw it all in my local bookmakers last week when some crazy fella was putting tenners into the roulette machine like there was no tomorrow and actually calling the poor woman on the next machine a jinxing so and so when he kept losing, but to be honest I have seen many men losing the plot on these roulette machines and one fella even walks out the shop around a post and back in the shop because apparently, it brings him luck.

Anyway after looking at all the stats for the last two seasons and believing Gordon Elliott was going to clean up again it was a nap he would have a quiet year for whatever reason, nothing to do with the trainer, jockey or even the dog, he had a few nice winners and a few never turned up, simple as that. 

Apple’s Jade was one of them that never turned up and as my next door neighbour mentioned she probably just doesn’t like Cheltenham and will run her race again at Aintree or Punchestown.

As I have mentioned before am not the biggest jump racing fan but the Coral Cup Handicap was a brilliant race, I had three in this race, and they were all disappointing but that didn’t matter, as poor Wicklow Brave was hunted down by William Henry with the best ride I have seen in a long time from Nico de Boinville, and won by a short head, wow what a race.

After spending time looking at the stats I thought it was a good idea to follow Gordon Elliott's horses this year but the end results show it wasn’t to be his year as you can see from this, a huge 45 runners over the four-day festival with only 3 winners, giving him a dismal 6.7 per cent win strike rate, which by his standard is really disappointing.


As you would have guessed then my betting week was a bit of a disaster apart for Sire Du Berlais who was my biggest bet of the week but overall I was down, who couldn’t have been more impressed by the way Tiger Roll goes from strength to strength and demolished a good field in the Cross Country Chase and will be aimed at the Grand National again.

My conclusion of this week is first, don’t blame anyone but yourself (note to self, practice what you preach) secondly, backing every horse because the trainer had two good years at Cheltenham is a recipe for disaster and last stick to what you know best which for me is the flat and I can’t bloody wait for the 30th March to arrive!!!

Saddlesore Galactica - How to Train a Horse (Simpsons style)

I Get Knocked Down but I get up Again (Cheltenham Festival 2019- Day 3)

Too much to do and so little time is everybody's moan I guess, so busy of a day today and no time to reflect on yesterday's action (sorry to my only reader, Sinbad off twitter who liked my post and by the way is a family member and I guess feels sorry for me). 

I had in mind two headlines for this post depending on how day 2 went but as I won’t be reviewing it I will have to leave it till last minute, first headline is Things can only get better (song by D ream) if it’s another shit day the second headline is, I get knocked down but I get up again (song by Chumbawamba). If I have a boss day so we will see what happens. 

Day 3: 

Just the one runner for Gordon Elliott in the first race of the day, Mengli Khan will take his chance after finishing 3rd in the Supreme Novices Hurdle here last year(heavy going) but Gordon does state on Attheraces that he’s been disappointed with him, so that means he will win haha. Shattered Love strolled to victory in this race last year, so same again, please. 

Onto the second race of the day, the Pertemps Handicap Hurdle and a couple of good chances here with Barry Geraghty on board Sire Du Berlais, and he’s also running A Toi Phil. It was a good year in this race last year when the impressive Delta Work just held on to win by a nose and the year before Jury Duty finished 3rd, so signs are good. The Storyteller is the only entry for Gordon in the third race of the day, currently 20/1 which would do me nicely but does look up against it against some decent rivals.No luck here for the Elliott camp the last two seasons. 

No bet in the race of the day, the Stayers Hurdle but if Faugheen turns up after crashing down last time out it could be a race to remember.No bet again in the fourth race of the day, the Handicap Chase in what looks an open Class 1 race for 5-year-olds and upwards. The 16.50 has a short price favourite with the Henderson hotpot Epatante running but my money will be going on Tintangle with J W Kennedy getting the ride and another big priced horse Black Tears (could be lots of tears if I haven’t had a winner by this time). No runners the past two seasons for Gordon here but Willie Mullins has had the last two winners of this race and has half the field here. 

Huge field for the Kim Muir and four chances for me here with, Out Sam, Measure Of My Dreams, Rogue Angel and It's all Guess Work (you can say that again) lining up for the lucky last, no winners in this race again for Elliott last two seasons. Good luck all and hope Cheltenham is going well. Late update: What a day, my team Liverpool win and a few winners for my man Elliott, first up Tiger Roll single and then a double with Envoi Allen and went against my own rules and done Coko Beach each way. 

Profitable second day for me and hopefully the tide has turned for Gordon Elliott.