Sunday 17 March 2019

The Games Not Straight (Cheltenham Review 2019)

The headline may seem a bit extreme but us punters blame everything and anything when we lose on the horses, from the trainer being a fiddling shit to the jockey being as bent as a ten bob piece, even if the dog gets in the way of the television and my horse falls it’s the dogs fault. 

I saw it all in my local bookmakers last week when some crazy fella was putting tenners into the roulette machine like there was no tomorrow and actually calling the poor woman on the next machine a jinxing so and so when he kept losing, but to be honest I have seen many men losing the plot on these roulette machines and one fella even walks out the shop around a post and back in the shop because apparently, it brings him luck.

Anyway after looking at all the stats for the last two seasons and believing Gordon Elliott was going to clean up again it was a nap he would have a quiet year for whatever reason, nothing to do with the trainer, jockey or even the dog, he had a few nice winners and a few never turned up, simple as that. 

Apple’s Jade was one of them that never turned up and as my next door neighbour mentioned she probably just doesn’t like Cheltenham and will run her race again at Aintree or Punchestown.

As I have mentioned before am not the biggest jump racing fan but the Coral Cup Handicap was a brilliant race, I had three in this race, and they were all disappointing but that didn’t matter, as poor Wicklow Brave was hunted down by William Henry with the best ride I have seen in a long time from Nico de Boinville, and won by a short head, wow what a race.

After spending time looking at the stats I thought it was a good idea to follow Gordon Elliott's horses this year but the end results show it wasn’t to be his year as you can see from this, a huge 45 runners over the four-day festival with only 3 winners, giving him a dismal 6.7 per cent win strike rate, which by his standard is really disappointing.

As you would have guessed then my betting week was a bit of a disaster apart for Sire Du Berlais who was my biggest bet of the week but overall I was down, who couldn’t have been more impressed by the way Tiger Roll goes from strength to strength and demolished a good field in the Cross Country Chase and will be aimed at the Grand National again.

My conclusion of this week is first, don’t blame anyone but yourself (note to self, practice what you preach) secondly, backing every horse because the trainer had two good years at Cheltenham is a recipe for disaster and last stick to what you know best which for me is the flat and I can’t bloody wait for the 30th March to arrive!!!

Saddlesore Galactica - How to Train a Horse (Simpsons style)